Being, Doing, Having, Knowing

Author : Kenneth Alexander
Having, Doing, BeingMany of us think that if only we had lots of money we could do what we want and then we would be happy.However, There is an idea sweeping popular psychology which tells us this is the wrong way to try to attain fulfilment. The "having, doing, being" way of looking at things is back to front.Zig Ziglar says that one of his favourite phrases is "You've got to be before you can do, and do before you can have."So, rather than having the rewards of success first, before we can do the things we want to do, and then become the person we would like to be, we have to reverse our thinking.We must first be a person of character and then do the right things before we can have the things we really want.To think and act in this way, we first master the art of being happy with what we have. To many this seems like just plain nonsense. Surely we work to acquire the money to buy the things we want and the lifestyle we dream of before we become fulfilled? Well, you won't be on your own if you think like this. However, passing through the stages of human having and human doing before you can become a human being means that you pin your fulfilment to events that may or may not happen.The "new" being, doing, having way of looking at things is a modern slant on ideas that have passed through the ages.Begin by BeingHappiness need not depend on future events, successes, relationships or possessions. Happiness can come from within. You can love yourself and love your life NOW! Take a look within to find happiness ..."The most important things in life aren't things." Anthony J. D'Angelo"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." Agnes Repplier"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." Francois de La Rochefoucauld"Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness." William E. Gladstone"Happiness comes most to persons who seek her least, and think least about it. It is not an object to be sought; it is a state to be induced." John Burroughs"Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be." William AdamsCan we simply choose to be happy? Well, maybe, but it is only a starting point. If we stop the process here, we would isolate ourselves from the world and become happy hermits living with minimal needs in a cave. Otherwise we need to engage ourselves with the world to be fulfilled. The important point is that we can begin by choosing our attitude to life and not make our happiness dependent upon future circumstances.Doing the right thingsWe mustn't think that we are a complete person, simply by having some knowledge and a set of beliefs. Making a decision to be happy is just the first step. That decision must be put into practice. Unless we choose to become a happy recluse, we must take our contentment into the world and see how it stands up to the realities of life."The greatest happiness is to transform one's feelings into action." Madame de Stael"No human being ever learns to live until he has awakened to the dormant powers within him." William JamesAnthony Robbins sums it up like this: "It's not knowing what to do, It's doing what we know."Napoleon Hill asserts that "Action is the real measure of intelligence." and Mahatma Gandhi said "Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy."One of Shakespeare's finest speeches ponders a dilemma which presumes that we must take action in order "to be.""To be or not to be that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them."What do you think? Is it better to suffer a "sea of troubles," or to TAKE ACTION to put an end to your "outrageous fortune"? Without action, is it possible "to be" or just to exist?Having the things you wantIf you approach life with the right attitude and consistently do the right things that tie in with your beliefs, you'll have the lifestyle that you deserve. If you focus on your goal and are persistent in your actions there will be a positive outcome:"Do not believe that you can possibly escape the reward of your action." Ralph Waldo Emerson"The highest reward for person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it." John Ruskin"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Christopher MorleyIf you were interested in monetary reward and material wealth it would be
useful to remember Jim Rohn's observation: "Money is usually attracted, not pursued."How would you attract that kind of success? Well, in the same way you would attract personal satisfaction in a job well done. Approach your work with the right attitude and consistently do the right things to achieve your goal.There is a reason why many of the world's most successful people do not retire after making more money than most of us can only dream of. It's because they were not in it for the money from the outset."If you work just for money, you'll never make it, but if you love what you're doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours." Ray Kroc"DOING what you love is the cornerstone of HAVING abundance in your life." Wayne DyerBeing, Doing, HavingSo, there you have it! Believe in yourself, live your values and success will be yours! If you don't make a million, you will make yourself a better person anyway ... learn to be a human being, become a human doing and you'll end up as a human having - enjoying the lifestyle you deserve as a result of being true to yourself and putting yourself in action. Whatever the outcome ..."Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." Doris Mortman"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." EpicurusIn any event, all success is measured on our own terms. We cannot judge ourselves on the trappings of success earned by others."The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have." Vince Lombardi"If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan,
your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us." Jim RohnHOWEVER ... there's more ... as William Arthur Ward said "We are more than what we do... much more than what we accomplish...far more than what we possess."... keep reading ...It's not what you know, but WHO YOU KNOWNo matter how you define success, our lives are incomplete without a strong connection with "significant others." We are much more than what we believe, or what we do or what we have.For personal success and fulfilment, our ability to connect with like minded individuals is crucial."Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are,
you need one." Jane HowardSocial "connectedness" is very important to our mental and physical wellbeing. Repeated studies have shown that both our mental and physical health benefit from strong personal relationships and yet we seem to find it increasingly difficult to build "real" friendships and relationships.There are many "social networking" sites on the internet, including Facebook, Flickr, Friendster, MySpace, and Orkut. No matter how close you get to online friends though, it's still "virtual" networking.Marc Canter, the man who attempted to be the "most friendly man in cyberspace" with thousands of "friends." says that "The word "friend" is a bad term for describing someone you link to online. Reducing friendship to a click on a yes/no button is, a complete joke."Real FriendsStudies have shown that "most people can define precisely a group of about 3 to 7 very close friends to whom they turn in times of distress, a group of about 15 who provide sympathy and support, and a wider circle of friends of about 35 who represents their personal community." New Scientist Magazine.Mother Teresa once observed that "There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation than for bread," however the Boston Globe recently reported that "Mobile phones and the internet may make us feel more connected, but our connections are shallower. A major national survey in America shows that the average number of people who discuss important matters with friends has dropped from three to two in just two decades, a steep falloff in confidants that startled the researchers.
One person reported that his closest friend lived 200 miles away."So, despite (or even because of) technological advances, it doesn't seem that finding friendship, appreciation and love is getting any easier.Forget for a moment your Christmas card list of neighbours, work colleagues, distant relatives or internet based friends. Could you list who your very close friends are, who is in your wider circle and who forms your "personal community"?An important part of the SpurIntoAction initiative is to provide the forum where we can all extend our network of social contacts, work hard to build friendships look for opportunities to develop close and meaningful relationships. This is not always easy, however, with the right attitude we can overcome the little difficulties that get in the way of friendship."We shall never have friends, if we expect to find them without fault." Thomas Fuller"What's the best vitamin for making friends? B1!" Anon"If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come." Chinese ProverbHow to be a "Human Knowing"Young children have a great ability to make connections. A very innocent "what's your name" can lead to a simple conversation and kids are soon playing.Adults are a little more wary, having learned that there are sharks, hustlers and rip-off merchants out there as well as other "undesirables" such as the acutely boring and the socially inept. So, how do you get good at "sussing" people before jumping in with both feet in a social interaction? Well, practice! Just do it! We're in a social group, we have events where you meet new people, and most people are expecting conversation. Don't learn lines or tactics, don't talk about yourself all the time. Ask questions, listen to the answer and allow the conversation to flow. Be genuinely interested in others and let yourself shine through. Find that part of yourself, of which you are proud, share your happiness and look for it in others. We all have it, although it can get suppressed, crushed and dented by experience, so we need to reconnect with our inner happiness and spark, feed it, nurture it and reintroduce it, and ourselves into the world."Success in anything is built on meaningful relationships." James H. QuigleyBecome a human being; doing, having and knowing!Work at it. It will be worthwhile!Kenneth Alexander runs the SpurIntoAction Sports and Social Network in Sheffield, England. Having been in Software Development for most of his life, Kenneth is making the transition into People Development. Currently training to become a Life Coach with the Coaching Academy, he has been inspired by the power of action when directed by thought and uses quotations as a source of inspiration such as this from Henri Bergson - "Think like a man of action and act like a man of thought." Most of us have heard Francis Bacon's quote "Knowledge is power," but few are aware of the full quote: "Knowledge is power, but mere knowledge is not power; it is only possibility. Action is power; and its highest manifestation is when it is directed by knowledge." Kenneth's aim over the coming years is to create a network of people who engage with life fully, committing themselves to making a difference in the world by empowering themselves. http://www.SpurIntoAction.co.uk
Keyword : money,happiness,realtionships,social,network,friends,family,soulmate,fulfilment,success,desire